Self Perception

Self perception is a HUGE part of depression. If you're depressed, there's a pretty good chance you don't like yourself, or worse. Negative self perception feeds the depression: feelings of worthlessness, inadequacy, a sense of failure, or a lack of purpose are examples. However, our self perceptions are often very, very skewed. Especially the negative ones. We tend to believe that we are worse than we are. Why, I have no clue. I'd be interested in doing some research on that topic. I'm writing a paper for one of my classes and actually just read an article about self consciousness as related to depression and it was fascinating. In this article, depression was found to be related to something called private self-consciousness that has to do with things like attitude consistency and internal awareness. Anyway, that was a bit off topic. My point is, our negative self perceptions can fuel our depression and make it a lot worse. Take a minute and think about yourself. Think about the things you like. The things you don't like. For the things you don't like, take an extra long time to ponder whether or not these things are actually accurate. If possible, even get a second opinion. I was talking to someone this morning and further on in the conversation she told me that I'm not nearly as socially inept as I believe myself to be. Believing that I fail at all things that have to do with people is one of my most significant negative self perceptions. When I really thought about it, I realized that I'm not as bad as I tend to portray myself. Sure, I make the occasional faux pas, but who doesn't? I tend to internally over exaggerate the severity of things I feel the need to work on. When I get on the "I'm so horrible with people, I suck at being a person" train because some little thing happened at school that got blown way out of proportion, my depression gets worse. Don't let that happen to you. I know it can be hard, but once you recognize that your negative self perceptions are not as accurate as you think they are, it doesn't affect you as much. Believe me, recognizing that you aren't actually all that bad really helps. It's the first step to believing that you are good or worth it, which you definitely are! Hang in there, guys. You can do this.

People

I know that when I'm depressed, the last thing I want to do is be around people, because what do people care? Depression is an alienating disease. It makes you believe that nobody loves you or cares what happens to you. Of course, this isn't true, because I can guarantee that everyone out there has at least one person who cares about them, whether they believe it or not. Honestly, isn't that one person enough to fight for? A best friend, a parent, a sibling, an extended family member, a child. Everyone has someone who loves them-someone who needs them. Even if we can't function for ourselves sometimes, we should still try to function for them. Looking back at my deepest darkest period of depression, I realize how scared my loved ones were. They may not have always known how to handle me, but they still cared. That's point one, that there are always people who care about you that can be a motivator to keep fighting it. Point two: being around people can help lift the depression a little. Even if it's something as simple as just watching TV with somebody else. Being around people every once in a while helps you feel less isolated, and isolation is a huge part of depression. I know it's draining to be around people when you're depressed. I know you may feel like they don't want you there, or that you don't want to be around anyone, but it definitely helps. It doesn't have to be all day every day. But at least once a week, you should try to do something at least semi-social. I find that when I get out more and do things with people, I feel better. Humans are essentially social creatures that need relationships to thrive. I have social anxiety as well as depression, and am a true blue introvert, so I understand that not everybody needs the same level of social stimulation. Find what works for you so you don't feel so alone. Even if the people you're hanging out with don't know what's going on, just being around them can be beneficial. Try to go do something with a friend or family member this week. It might help.

Proud of You

So I was walking through the student center earlier this week and I saw this box that was for valentines where you just anonymously write who you love on a heart shaped piece of paper and stick it in. Later, when I was trying to do homework, I wished I'd put down "everyone fighting depression" on a heart and stuck it in the box. Because honestly, I have the utmost love and respect for everyone who goes through this. People with depression have no motivation to get out of bed in the morning but for the most part still manage to do it anyway. They go about their business-work, school, whatever-even though all they want to do is crawl into bed and never get out. Honestly, people with depression (or any debilitating mental illness, really) who still try to live are the strongest people out there. So if you're reading this, and you feel hopeless and like the waves are coming in over your head and you just can't do it anymore, know that you can. And I'm proud of you. I don't know if that will make any difference, but I thought you should know that I am. You are stronger than you feel. You will get through this if you don't give up. I know how easy it is to just give up, so the people who don't are seriously my heroes.

Go Outside

Seriously, I cannot stress how important being outside is. I know how hard this is because when depressed all I want to do is curl up under a pile of blankets in a dimly lit room only seeing by the light of the television. But going outside and soaking up the vitamin D is important. In fact, in psych wards patients are often given vitamin D supplements because they are inside all day. Why do you think so many people suffer from seasonal affective disorder? A part of it probably has to do with the sun generally being blocked out by the clouds and the weather being too lousy to be outdoors for a sufficient length of time. I've been lucky enough this past week to enjoy some pretty great temperatures considering it's February in Utah, and have taken this opportunity to spend a little extra time outside doing things like going on walks and reading outside instead of inside. It helps. Plus I think just being outside and breathing air that hasn't been in a small room for too long is beneficial. It generally works for me, especially when it's nice out. Revel in the outdoors, people. Whenever you get the opportunity just look at the sky or take a deep breath or something and appreciate the beautiful world we live in. It's the little things.

Savor the Good Days

We all have them, even in the deepest, darkest pits of depression there are Good Days. Days where you're not as fatigued or quite as depressed or even days where you're not suicidal, depending on how severe the depression is. Days where the world doesn't seem quite as horrible as usual. When I was in the worst of my depression, I didn't even have Good Days. I had Good Hours. The thing about those Good Days or Hours or whatever the case may be is that you have to cherish them. Don't question them. Don't think about when they are going to end. Just appreciate them for what they are: a break. A reprieve. Do things you love to do but normally don't have energy for. Hang out with friends or family. Go outside and enjoy the sunshine. Get out of your pajamas and go live. I know how hard it can be to do any of those things when in the depths of depression. Sometimes it's hard to appreciate the Good Days with the mindset of "well just because I'm okay now doesn't mean anything; it'll be back." Chances are it will come back, but you need to enjoy the Good Days and hold onto them for when the bad ones do come back. Make good memories during those days and hold onto them when things get bad again so you remember that your life isn't completely horrible even though it may seem like it when you're depressed. I used to be in the same boat. During the worst of it, as soon as my Good Hour ended, I'd immediately go back to believing my life wasn't worth living because I'd already forgotten the good things that had just transpired. Even now, looking back at my senior year of high school, all I remember is the bad. There were good moments in there, I know that much, but I have a much harder time remembering them. Savoring the good times amidst so much bad can be hard, but doing it really helps you keep going. Plus when you're looking back on your life (hello, senior year) you won't be stuck with the regret that you remembering nothing positive from certain periods of your life. Seriously, half of high school is a complete blur to me because of how depressed I was. I don't recommend that to anyone. The most important thing to remember when the Good Day ends is that they will come again. Depression seems infinite when you're in it, but it really doesn't last forever, I promise.