Carrying On

I haven't posted in a while because things have been rough. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in September. It turned my life upside down. It explained why I was in pain all the time but I can't be treated for it through conventional means because of the medications they normally use for it. Antidepressants. Narcotics. Both types of medications that have previously made me incredibly suicidal. (The only time I've ever taken narcotics of any sort was following my wisdom teeth removal earlier this year and, oh boy, I hadn't been that suicidal since high school when on antidepressants.) So I'm in pain. I had frequent breakdowns in the month following that announcement. I've mostly accepted it now and am working on finding alternative methods to lessen my pain. Despite the utter despair that came from knowing my doctor couldn't do anything to help me with my pain that regularly has me flat on my back unable to move, I'm carrying on. I could have given in to it. It would have been easy. I've done it before when things have seemed hopeless. There were entire years of my life where I had given up because of less serious problems than this. But then I didn't feel like I had something to life for. Something worth moving forward for, even if I had to crawl. Now I do. My life is worth living no matter what problems arise. Believing that is a gigantic leap forward from even two years ago. Even during the darkest days of my depression, I carried on and got where I am today. So can you.